The latest round of body conscious/shaming adverts are here. 'Are you Beach Ready?'. Honestly? Yes. Physically I am totally beach ready. If 'Beach Ready' means:
'Do you own a bathing suit of some kind? Do you have a beach towel and some sun cream? Can you physically enter a beach? Do you have footwear to enable you to cope with the scalding hot sand? Are you able to find a lounger or lay your towel down on said beach? Could you swim or paddle if you so choose to? All in front of strange or not so strange people!!?'..
then yes. I am 'Beach Ready'.
If you mean, am I mentally ready for the beach, then personally... probably not. I may have to fight some demons to get to that point. I may dare the beach if I have the good fortune to feel, at that moment in time, like I don't give a shit about what people think of me. If I feel strong and fit in myself, I may. If I feel that the guilt of denying my children the joy in swimming with me on our holidays is too much to handle, then yes, I probably, might, maybe, will.
So why do I not feel mentally ready? What has happened in my life to make me feel so body conscious? Perhaps I am a bit accustomed to the world I live in considering a 'Beach Body' as one of a body size I will probably never achieve. It's pretty sad. If you are not a model size, does that mean that you can't be 'Beach Ready'? Is it such a disgusting idea to put a plus sized woman into a bathing suit? Will my half naked, plus sized body make members of the public spontaneously throw up as soon as my sandalled feet step onto the beach? Will the picnic lunch I dare to eat in public, fill my beach neighbours with such disgust that they feel the need to cast scornful looks my way, and whisper loudly to their friends about the audacity I have to eat at my size? Possibly. Should I care? Probably not.
It's the fashion world who are pushing the image that to be plus sized (over a size 14 to me and you), is to be lazy and disgusting and ashamed of your body. It's the same fashion world who a few years ago promoted the curvaceous figure as being the ideal body shape. How many actual human beings have the same body ideal though? Not as many as you think!
Plus sized models have a MASSIVE following. Personally, I love Tess Holliday. I envy her. She has self respect and beauty, and I wish that I had even half of her self confidence.
I have said from the beginning that this is not about the scales. It's about how fit I get and how I deal with family history. I really wish I hadn't named this Full Fat to Full Fit. It sounds as though I have issues with the word 'Fat' and to be honest, I don't! It's not about Fat to Thin. I'm NEVER going to be thin again, and I wouldn't want to be. What I want, above all else, regardless of size and weight, is to feel confident. To feel good when I look in a mirror, and that perception is entirely personal.
For those of you also on your journey to self respect, I wish you, above all else, health and happiness xx
No comments:
Post a Comment